Twilight Chat! DUN DUN DUNNNNN! Version 2
by Ra4chel-the 4 is silent
Summary: K so somehow, my old story got deleted, so this is just the continuation of my old story. Don't worry if you didn't read it though. There's no real plot to it anyway. It's just sheer random retarded comedy. Rated T for language,violence and sexual contet
1. WE'RE BAAAAAACK!

AliceyCullen has signed in.

YAYYYYYYYYYYY! I'm back! OMG! I am sooo happy to be writing this story again! (for those of you who don't know I wrote a story before this, but it got deleted) Anyways, I'm hoping to pick up right where I left off, but I kind of forget where that was, so I'm just gonna wing it! REVIEWWWWW!

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Eddiekins has signed in.

AliceyCullen says: OMG! We're back! I'm soooo fucking excited.

Eddiekins says: Wow hyper much?

AliceyCullen says: What? I'm not allowed to be happy?

Eddiekins says: No you can be happy. Just...be LESS happy.

AliceyCullen says: :()

Eddiekins says: :D

Bells has signed in.

Bells says: What the hell happened?

Author (me) has signed in.

Author (me) says: My story got deleted! :( :(

Bells says: *Gasp!* So the whole other story's gone forever?

Author (me) says: Yea. D: Oh well! I'm starting again with a new one!

EmmieBear has signed in.

EmmieBear says: YUSSSSSSSSS!

Bells says: ...

AliceyCullen says: ...

Eddiekins says: Uh Em...I'm pretty sure there's no U in yes...or that many S's.

EmmieBear says: There is in my world...Eddiekins.

Eddiekins says: HEY! Back off! Bella made my name...EmmieBear.

EmmieBear says: Hey! Back off! Jasper made my name!

AliceyCullen says: Pfft! Good one Jazz!

J A Z Z has signed in.

J A Z Z says: Thank you!

Eddiekins says: hahah! Emmiebear!

J A Z Z says: Umm...Eddiekins? pfft! hahahahahahahahahah

Eddiekins says: STFU! Bella made my name!

Rose has signed in.

Rose says: Yea. and it's GAY!

Bells says: HEY! oh and speaking of gay, how's Emmett?

EmmieBear: HEY!

Rose says: hmmph.

Eddiekins says: lol.

J A Z Z says: lol.

Bells says: lol.

AliceyCullen says: lol.

EmmieBear says: LAWLZZ!

Eddiekins says: Umm...Em. We're laughing at you.

J A Z Z says: Lawlzz?

EmmieBear says: Lawlzz is the best fucking word in the English language! :()

J A Z Z says: NO it's the gayest word in the English language!

Eddiekins says: Ummm guys. I'm pretty sure Lawlzz isn't actually a word.

EmmieBear says: Fine then! You wanna dance dictionary boy?

Eddiekins says: Bring it on.

Eddiekins has signed out.

EmmieBear has signed out.

J A Z Z says: So...

AliceyCullen says: Who wants to go shopping?

(*Cricket* *Cricket)

Author (me) says: OOooooh! I do! I wanna get that hot new Jacob Black Poster.

Rose says: Hot and Jacob Black do not belong in the same sentence.

Wolfie says: Yes they do! Where have you been? Chicks dig werewolves! ;)

Bells says: Jake! When did you get here?

Wolfie says: I've been here for months. When the story got deleted, I was logged in, so I had no way of logging out.

Bells says: AWWWWW! You poor thing! You must have been alone in this chat for months!

Wolfie says: Actually, I just hit the minimize button.

Rose says: DUHHHHH! God, you're stupid Bella!

Bells says: Pfft! Says the blonde.

Wolfie says: Nice one!

Bells says: Thanks! *High fives Jake*

Rose says: hmmph.

Dr. C has signed in.

Dr. C says: Umm...anyone know why Emmett's on the roof dancing to the glee version of Don't Stop Believing and Edward's trying to tackle him.

J A Z Z says: hahahahahahahahah! I gotta see this.

J A Z Z has signed out.

AliceyCullen says: Well I'm going shopping.

Author (me) says: Count me in!

AliceyCullen has signed out.

Author (me) has signed out.

Dr. C has signed out.

Bells has signed out.

Rose says: Ditchers!

Rose has signed out.

Anakin Skywalker has signed in.

Anakin Skywalker says: Hello?

Anakin Skywalker says: Damn! Everyone's already gone! Oh well! Now would be a good time to practice my mad lightsaber skills!

Wolfie says: *Takes picture* This one's going on facebook.

Wolfie has signed out.

Anakin Skywalker says: CURSE YOU JACOB BLACK!

Anakin Skywalker has signed out.

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**So as you can all see, it's sheer random, retarded comedy, but that's what makes it great. Please review everyone and let me know whether you read the original Twilight Chat or if you're a newcomer. Also, I sometimes add non-twilight characters I love into the story (hence Anakin Skywalker) so be prepared for characters from Star Wars and Glee...and maybe even Adam Lambert. What? He's gorgeous! Yes, I know he's gay, but that doesn't make him any less hot...just...click on the green button k? LUV YOU!**

**-RACHEL!**


	2. The return of Emily Rose and Mwahahaha

**Wow! depressing! 0 reviews! I used to have like 500 reviews! PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I'm begging you! I've missed your reviews soooo much! The good news is, one person did add this to their favorites. Thanks _Jade Volurti. _I am soo depressed right now. K here's the next chapter!**

Eddie-the-teddy has signed in.

Em_ily_rose has signed in.

Em_ily_rose says: Hey...Eddie the Teddy! hahaha

Eddie-the-teddy says: Seriously man? You have nothing better to do than change my display name...Emily Rose. *snicker*

Em_ily_rose says: Dude! we went over this in like the very first chapter of the very first version. Em is my name and I love Rose. It doens't say "Emily Rose." It says "Em. I love you, Rose."

Eddie-the-teddy says: w.e. dude...er...i mean emily.

Em_ily_rose says: well i beat you at dancing so HA!

Eddie-the-teddy says: That's not something to be proud of considering we were suppossed to be fighting, not dancing.

Em_ily_rose says: oh shit! that makes so much more sense now. I thought you were trying to tackle me cuz u were jealous of my mad skills.

Author (me) has signed in.

Author (me) says: What mad skills?

Em_ily_rose says: Oh look! The Author's just as bitchy as she was in the last version. Hey! What are you doing? Ow! You can't sign me out like this?

Em_ily_rose has signed out.

Author (me) says: MWA HA HA HA HA! *sigh* it's good to be back.

Author (me) has signed out.

Eddie-the-teddy says: just as weird as ever.

Eddie-the-teddy has signed out.

Author (me) has signed in.

Author (me) says: MWA HA HA HA HA!

Author (me) has signed out.

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**Sorry it's so short. I'm in a bit of a rush and barely had time to post another chapter. So yea, I brought back some of the old stuff like "Em_ily_rose" and "Mwa ha ha ha ha" (god! if feels so good to type that again!) so please try and bear with me as I might repeat the same jokes as before! I hope you loved it! NOW HIT DA GREEN BUTTON!**


	3. The return of Jacob vs Author

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**K, so I got a few reviews, but I'm still expecting a few more than that! **

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Jake has signed in.

Author (me) has signed in.

Jake says: Oh no! Sign out! Sign out! Why isn't it working?

Author (me) says: Cuz I control the story, remember? Mwa ha ha ha ha.

Jake says: I liked it better when you weren't writing.

Author (me) says: How shall I torture you today?

Jake says: Please don't! I'll do anything!

Author (me) says: Anything. Hmmm...;) (**A/N: What? He's hawt! Oh shit! I forgot I have a boyfriend.**)

Jake says: Okay, not anything. 20 buckz max.

Author (me) says: Not good enough, Jakey. Not good enough.

Jake says: So what are you going to do? Change my name to something embarrassing? Take away my swearing privlidges AGAIN?

Author (me) says: Tempting, but I was thinking more like...completely taking over your account.

Jake says: NOOOOOOOOO!

Jake says: Hi! I'm Jacob Black and I'm a FAG!

Author (me) says: Mwa ha ha ha ha! It's good to be the author!

Edwardo has signed in.

bellacullen has signed in.

Edwardo says: Hey mutt.

Jake says: Hey sexy!

bellacullen says: Umm Jake? You okay?

Jake says: I'm fine! Now back off! I'm tryna flirt!

Edwardo says: WHAT? Umm are you sure you're Jake? Sure you're not Emmett?

Jake says: Positive. Just thought it was time to tell you the truth. Edward, I love you.

bellacullen says: WHAT?

Jake says: Oh shut up you little whore!

Edwardo says: HEY! Don't talk to my wife that way!

Jake says: Calm down gorgeous! You're gonna mess up your hair. And we all know that's my job.

bellacullen says: Umm...no. Actually that's my job, Jake. So back off! And since when do you like Edward?

Jake says: Since forever! You didn't think I was actually trying to break the two of you up to get to some boring little human, did you?

bellacullen says: T-T Let's go Edward.

Edwardo says: Just a sec, love. So Jacob, tell me again how sexy I am.

bellacullen says: EDWARD!

Edwardo says: Coming dear! Chicks...

Jake says: Kinda makes you wanna turn gay, doesn't it?

Edwardo says: Not a chance, mutt. I would go visit Emmett though if I were you. I hear Rose is away for the weekend.

Edwardo has signed out.

Author (me) says: MWA HA HA HA HA!

Author (me) has signed out.

Jake says: I hate her.

Author (me) says: I heard that!

Jake says: You can't talk! You're not signed in!

Author (me) says: It's my story! I can do what I want! Even this:

Author (me) has signed out.

JacobBlackIsGayAndLovesEdward says: FUCK! She changed my name!

Author (me) says: MWA HA HA HA HA!

Author (me) has signed out.

JacobBlakeIsGayAndLovesEdward has signed out

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**So yea, I'm back to torturing Jacob again. Why? 1) Because I'm 100% Team Edward. 2) Because he's hot and refuses to bang me (:P jks!) and 3) Because it's fucking FUN! Oh and for those of you who didn't read the original, I used to torture Jake ALL THE TIME! And yes, I took away his swearing privlidges! It was hella funny! HIT DA GREEN BUTTON BITCHEZZ AND REVIEWWW!**


	4. The return of the boringest chapter ever

**HEYY EVERYONE! OH MY GAWWWWWDDD! Who went to see Eclipse the first day it came out? Wasn't it the BEST? OH GOOD LORD! JACOB'S ABS! Yea, I have no life! But hey, most people on don't either. If you did, you would be out doing something with it and not reading my gay ass story! EL OH EL (haha! that's my boyfriend's word but it stole it :) ) So yea, what was all of ur favorite parts in the movie! For me, it was definatly the tent scene. LOL! Jake! "You'd warm up faster if u took ur clothes off" one of my favorite lines! I thought it was better than new moon, but they shouldn't have changed the actress for Victoria. :( it was just weird. Plus whatsherface (the new actress) just doesn't seem as evil as the original Victoria. So yea, enjoy the story!**

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Edward has signed in.

Jakie has signed in.

Author (me) has signed in.

Bells has signed in.

Edward says: You had to bring that up again! "You'd warm up faster if you took ur clothes off!" GET A LIFE JACOB!

Jakie says: I need to get a life? PFFTT! Ur not even alive!

Author (me) says: HEY! Don't talk to my man like that!

Bells says: YOUR MAN! :()

Author (me) says: Oh fuck off Bella! Nobody likes you! They only go to eclipse cuz theirs two gorgeous men in it!

Jakie says: It's true! They do

Bells says: T-T

Edward says: Now look what u did!

Author (me) says: idc

Edward says: ur a bitch.

Author (me) says: did u just figure that out? wow ur slow!

Jakie says: hahah!

Author (me) says: well...this is a fun convo.

Jakie says: yep.

Edward says: Nope. peace!

Edward has signed out.

(*cricket* *cricket*)

Bells says: Awkward...i'm gonna go...

Bells has signed out.

Author (me) says: Heh heh heh!

Jakie says: ahhh! sign out sign out! fml

Author (me) says: MWA HA HA HA HA!

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**Yea i no it's super short, but I have a little problem...I've written over 50 chapters of twilight chat and I have no new ideas! I only wrote today because I wanted to celebrate the theatrical release of Eclipse! Btw, does anyone know if it's true they're making Breaking Dawn in two parts? Someone told me that but idk if it's true... so yea i need ideas for chapters that I haven't already done bc i really have nothing for these losers to talk about...HELP ME!**


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